A Very Different Feeling

It has been 1mth 3days since we are together...We went through alot of obstacle together but each obstacle was overcome from the grace of God...After these few incidents, i do not know if i am doing something right or i am just being too silly to give my 100% for someone that i love so much yet i do not know if he really want to be with me...yesterday nite, all the words that he said to me on saturday nite....I do not know if i should believed what he said after his anger words or those anger words that he said before he say any nice words....I admit i really love him alot that i am willing to do anything for him so long is within my capablities but after so much things happened, i do not know if i can continued to trust every word he said, i have such feeling is cos his action really discourage me alot and we are just being together for a mth plus, but he had mention about breaking up many times...i cant imagine if we have a outcome what will be it down the road.....from the bottom of my heart, i confessed that from the start till now i never ever have a doubt on his words and things he said to me, but for the past 2 weeks while trying to raise money for his dad, i went through a lot of things in life that i never once experience at my lowest period in my life, instead of getting his comforting and assurance when i encounter issue and unexpected incidents, i told him but end uo being scold and insult by him, i was terrible hurt and i cant stop myself from thinking if he really care about me, cos he could pass comment about me without thinking if the words are right a not at the moment, he cant blamed me for having a sulky expression towards his action that he show to me, Seriously, i started to lose confidence in our relationship, i dont know how much more i can control myself and keep quiet, i do not know who is important to him ( Me or His girlfriend that he loved), i cant stop myself from asking this question in me over and over again, if the gal who he loved so much and has been with him for a yr plus shouldnt she also give in a helping hand as well, knowing that he is under so high pressure and stress, and i also wonder if he will use the same re-action on her if she ever encounter the same situations as me??? And since he care so much about how her girlfriend feels towards me, then he should make a decision whether we should carry on.. Very much i want to be with him but if he cant let go of his past or the girl whom he loved, it will be very diffcult for us to be together since there is no 100% trust from another party.... I can give everything for the person i loved, but i dont want at the end of the day, my loved to him become hatrated. As there is a chinese saying, the more u loved the person, the more hate you will develop...i dont want and wish to have such thing happened cos i dont like to hate people as it is a very tiring process....Up till now i still love him but i dont want if i can still be like before giving me all my 100%, and wat will happened if i never or cant give my 100%, is that the end of everything??? I really dont know